Listening to them – and processing them – allows us to correct our behaviour and take a course of action that most benefits us. Emotions need to be validated and processed, and you’re the only person who can start that process. And this normally happens because the people we grew up around also didn’t know how to talk about their feelings. Have you spoken to a mental health professional about this? Why do I need to talk about how I feel? Repressed emotions don’t just disappear. I'm 23M, I need someone to talk about my feelings to. Talking can be a way to cope with a problem you’ve been carrying around in your head for a while. I Need to Talk to Someone. In the long-term, it can have much more serious consequences – leading to issues like. Even being in other people's company can help. You might find it easier to start the conversation when you are doing something else. Talking about it helps me to process the situation, and it … Being in touch with our emotions (AKA emotional intelligence) is important because our feelings are important indicators for what’s happening in life. You don't need any special training to show someone you care about them. Or there was a bad experience at a more mature age, when they laughed at the feelings of the person, and this became a catalyst for isolation. Sometimes it feels like you don’t have anyone you can talk to without judgement, and that just compounds your feelings of loneliness and inadequacy. Putting a name to our emotions helps to bridge the gap between thoughts and feelings, moving “I am this” to “I am feeling this”. Talking about your feelings isn’t a sign of weakness. Talking about your feelings is a sign of personal strength. In any healthy relationship, it's important to validate someone's feelings when they're upset. You do a good enough job at keeping them down – so why can’t they? If they're finding it difficult, let them know that you're there when they are ready. I can't STAND crying in front of people. You can think of it like putting a lid on a boiling pan… When we put the lid on our feelings, in time they’re going to boil over. Not really i just feel too low and not able to get over the past. Stay at home – level 5 restrictions are in place nationwide. You’re not expected (or designed) to be battling everything out alone. I know that towards the end of the song the singer says the “and she will” part like 3 times in a row. If you open up about your feelings, they might do the same. It's okay to start off by saying you have been going through a tough time. Without going into detail, I'll just say my family is really messed up. You've decided you need help. While you’re talking, try to be as clear as possible by explaining the situation and how it made you feel. Your friends or family will be glad you asked. I used to be able to be alone and be fine but enough is enough. In the short-term, suppressing our feelings might mean overreacting in situations. Carlos Enrique Lang was born in Monterrey, Mexico. Try and think about it as just another conversation. Therapy is a safe, non-judgemental space to start opening up. Are you feeling sad or frustrated? Talking to someone helps you to look at things in a different way and to find solutions. Un-bottle your emotions. Before you talk about your feelings, you must know what they are. If we’re not in touch with our feelings, we’re going to find it a struggle to form close relationships. It's best to be direct so that they understand how you feel. Our emotions are constantly changing. “You make me feel…” comes across as an accusation or a statement of blame—not a statement of your feelings. Communicate effectively in your relationships. Describe the degree of your feelings—are you furious or mildly irritated? An active listener is waiting to listen you. If you need to talk to someone right now, free call Samaritans on 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.ie. If you’ve been bottling up your emotions for a long time the idea of talking about them might feel scary. Talking about your feelings lifts a weight from your shoulders. I have so many feelings stuck inside me that I've kept bottled up for years and every time I want to tell someone I get scared because I'm afraid they are gonna tell someone, I guess I'm afraid to trust people. You can choose to talk to a counselor, who are trained professionally to actively listen to you, provide you with a nonjudgemental space wherein you can talk about everything that seems to stress you out. Why should I talk to someone about my feelings? In the long-term, it can have much more serious consequences – leading to issues like depression, anxiety, and sleep disorders. Describe what you've been thinking and feeling. How we feel impacts how we behave. Writing down your worries can have a two-fold effect: Often when written down, it is also easier to put some perspective on your feelings. I feel like no one knows how I feel. When you're suffering, it's natural to want to talk to someone about your problems. The problem is bottling up our emotions isn’t a natural or healthy state to be in. By clicking “Accept All Cookies” you can agree to the use of all cookies. The tendency to invalidate and suppress our feelings has become part of our culture. It might also help the people you care about. But the truth is: we all have feelings. Connect more with others and feel less distant. Pick a time when neither of you will have distractions or feel like you are pressed for time. Being in touch with our emotions (AKA emotional intelligence) is important because our feelings are important indicators for what’s happening in life. When you can't find someone to talk to, it can be painful. From there, try to empathize as much as you can. The answers are, as with most things in psychology, both simple and complicated. Sometimes, you may expect that those close to you should know you aren't feeling good. Catharsis, which means a feeling of relief. Here are some ways how talking helps. But, they may not have noticed or they might be waiting for you to ask, not wanting to interfere. My big brother (17) just moved back in, and he told me that if I ever want to talk, he's there, and I cried in front of him. Sometimes all a person wants is an empathetic ear, all he or she needs is to talk it out. Samaritans are available 24 hours a day. Understand how to manage and regulate your emotions. Everyone needs a listening ear sometimes. No one calls me. You own your feelings instead of them owning you. Validating feelings involves recognizing someone's feelings and acknowledging them as important. Emotions tell us exactly what we need to hear (even if sometimes it’s not what we necessarily want to hear). Even being in other people's company can help. Remember, you don't have to agree with someone's feelings or choices to acknowledge their emotions … Lonely or disappointed? If we don’t have the awareness over how we’re feeling, our emotions can end up influencing our decisions without us even realising it. Just offering a listening ear and an understanding heart for his or her suffering is a big comfort for me. the act of writing itself can be a therapeutic release, seeing your thoughts and feelings on paper allows you to confront them and find ways to deal with them. We’re social creatures, and we all need support. If you’ve spent a lot of time trying to suppress your feelings, you might find that it feels very overwhelming when you actually do express them. "Sharing your feelings in a relationship is essential to building mutual trust, safety and respect — if you are able to share your emotions without feeling ashamed or … When we’re out of touch with our feelings, we allow them to rule over us. Talking to someone about how you’re feeling can help you sort through your feelings, put things in perspective, and release tension. But she swears she is fine when the opposite is true, because she doesn’t want to cause a problem. Even though we might feel a certain way one moment, it will never last forever. It is cathartic. Tag: i need to talk to someone about my feelings. In fact, overtime it can become toxic. If you've tried to talk to someone and things didn't improve for you, don't give up. All our feelings are valid – and that includes the difficult ones. Get matched to a psychologist, and have your first therapy session the same day. Honestly, if I had a choice, I probably would like to ignore the fact that they exist altogether. Receive greater acceptance. Any insomnia or other issues? You might find it hard to talk to others about your feelings and experiences. It will always be at your speed. Doctor's Assistant: How have you been sleeping? I'm can listen to your problems too You've taken a great step by coming here to gather information. If you feel very out of touch with your emotions this can often be traced back to childhood. For many of us, it’s how we’ve been taught to behave. If you want to express your feelings to someone, use “I” statements like “I feel angry because” so you can be honest without making them feel bad. I need the title of this song it went like “and she will” that’s all I really remember and it also said something along the lines of she will go free or something in that nature. Very often just saying something out loud to another person can offer a huge release. Meet people who understand Community is at the heart of 7 Cups. That’s not to say it’s all going to be plane-sailing – but in the long run it’s going to feel like a massive weight you didn’t even know you were carrying has been lifted. The person they trust more than anything. I don't like feelings. 35 Visually Expressed Thoughts and Feelings by Carlos Lang. How did your parents (or caregivers) respond when you were upset? Understandably, you would want to vent to a friend or loved one about what you're experiencing. Some of us literally have no one to vent to, but feeling alone isn’t defined by how many people are physically surrounding you. You can also write down how you feel. If you find it too difficult to talk to a loved one, talk to a GP or counsellor. Maybe you’re having an argument with your partner and you explode out of nowhere or you snap at your colleague for something small. Talking about your feelings is freedom. I have found it really hard to talk to someone about how I feel, my counselor would ask me how I'm feeling and I always say good even if I'm angers or sad. Our emotions are with us constantly. Feelings are important indicators. You can find support and friendship in chat rooms and forums for many issues, like depression, anxiety, relationships, LGBTQ+ and more. If the first two tips don’t quite do the trick, “play a game and just talk naturally about something in your past that made you sad, angry, or happy,” as recommended by McCoy. This can be scary if you don't know what to expect. Here are some things you can do to offer emotional support: Listen. You may worry about how people will react. It enables you to form authentic connections. This may help make the words clearer in your mind. The chances are, if we struggle to talk about our feelings as adults it’s because we were never provided the space to do so as children. If you can relate, you might find it quite uncomfortable listening to other people talk about their feelings. Come up with specific words that describe exactly how you feel—write them down if it helps. We might try all kinds of strategies to try and suppress our emotions – numbing ourselves with alcohol and drugs, keeping ourselves so busy we don’t have time to think or process our thoughts and feelings… But again, none of these work in the long-term. When we process and express how we feel in the moment, we’re free, light and easy – able to experience life in the present. It sounded like an 80s or 70s song possibly rock but not r&b, rap, or country please help me find this song! Not everyone finds it easy to talk about how they feel. -- "Nuttin' special" Use when you are with people you don't trust, or whenever you want to refuse to talk about feelings. The person you speak with might also suggest options that you had not thought about before. Maybe make a friend. If it’s something you want to do, do it. You don't have to appear to be strong or to try to struggle through things by yourself. I Wish I Had Someone To Talk To About My Problems. Losing a loved one is often one of the... Lekta Therapy Ltd a company incorporated and registered in England and Wales with company number 11083131 whose registered office is at 2 Lansdowne Row, Suite 163, London, England, W1J 6HL, Getting Back to Work after a Mental Health Absence, Perhaps you’ve wondered whether you’re just “one of those people” who doesn’t, The chances are, if we struggle to talk about our feelings as adults it’s because we were never provided the space to do so as children. You're not in an emergency, but realize you're having a hard time and would like to talk to a mental health professional. It shows that you are able to take control of your life. For example, you can say, “I wasn’t happy whenever I didn’t receive your part of the project and I had to turn in my work late.” Since communication works both ways, remember to give whoever you're talking … When you talk about your feelings, it also might help to: 1. Doctor's Assistant: The Psychologist can help. That might sound scary, but think of it as an empowering statement. Human nature is such that any talk of feelings is perceived as something painful. April 16, 2020 April 17, 2020 Typography by Igor. Confide in someone you trust such as your partner, a family member, a friend or neighbour. They build up quietly in the background… And soon enough, they start shouting at us – until we’re forced to take notice. The person who they wish they felt comfortable talking to about anything and everything. This realisation alone can offer a huge relief. Find the right moment for the conversation as you want to have time to talk and not be interrupted. Start by listening and responding in simple terms. Let them know you are not okay. By letting the tears out we allow space for positive thoughts to take their place. Another way to convey this "leave me alone" message is to simply answer "yes" or "no," or to only say a few words which barely answer the question. Let’s take a closer look at why it’s so important to express our emotions. But, it can be difficult to know how to start a conversation about your feelings or worries. I have never been someone who can keep my problems to myself or deal with them quietly and stoically. Many people worry that once they start, they won’t be able to stop (which is never the case). Gain emotional stability. Have a cup of tea with someone who cares for you or give them a call. When we bottle them up they only come back stronger – with potentially worse consequences. When you need someone to talk to, we're here to listen and help you feel better. page last reviewed: 23/09/2018next review due: 23/09/2021. I keep thinking if my husband ever dies, I will probably die of lonliness. Just a couple quick questions before I transfer you. You may talk easily about your feelings, but your guy needs more time to get in the right head space. Perhaps you’ve wondered whether you’re just “one of those people” who doesn’t have many feelings. Often, they will feel privileged that you asked them in the first place. Have you ever wondered if you’re just one of those people who doesn’t have feelings? is worth the effort. Once you get past the initial fear of talking about how you feel, you’ll start feel increasingly comfortable sharing more and more things. But, when you let someone know you need their help, they will often respond well. People will listen and give you support if you let them know how you're feeling. She doesn’t want to be a bother. It's normal to feel nervous. Communication is key to any relationship, and talking about your feelings is going to make you both a better person and partner. Did you feel like you could talk to them when you were angry or you felt misunderstood? For example, out for a walk or doing the dishes together. By acknowledging and validating our feelings, we allow the space to process them so that we can move forward in the way that most benefits us. While I'm crying it's not that bad, but afterwords I feel like I've been seen naked. I feel very lonely and depressed about things I've experienced/never done. Emotions tell us exactly what we need to hear (even if sometimes it’s not what we necessarily want to hear). Your therapist will never push you to talk about anything you don’t want to talk about or rush the process in a way that overwhelms you. If you need to talk to someone right now, free call Samaritans on 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.ie. This may be due to negative associations from childhood. Talking about your feelings can help you stay in good mental health and deal with times when you feel troubled. He moved to Los Angeles, California at the age of 17 where he got involved with photography and all sorts of visual arts. If your partner is in the middle of sharing his or her feelings, be attentive and don't try and steal spotlight. Girls who suck with expressing their feelings struggle to open themselves up, even when they find their forever person. Naming our emotions diffuses their charge. Don’t let anyone talk you out of it, tell you it’s wrong for you, or you don’t need to go. You can feel isolated at a party, at work, or even out with friends. We would also like to set optional cookies (analytical, functional and YouTube) to enhance and improve our service. They compel us to take action, influence our choices and enable us to form meaningful connections with the people around us. Just my daughter when she gets off work and thank god for her. You can opt-out of these cookies. 2. I need someone too to talk to. We use strictly necessary cookies to make our site work. Maybe you wonder why they’re being so sensitive or intense, and can’t just “get on with it”. Simply giving someone space to talk, and listening to how they're feeling, can be really helpful in itself. And this normally happens because the people we grew up around, Emotions tell us exactly what we need to hear (even if sometimes it’s not what we necessarily, In the short-term, suppressing our feelings might mean overreacting in situations. I want to talk to someone about my feelings. Describe what's happened, how you feel and the help you need. If you find it too difficult to talk to a loved one, talk to a GP or counsellor. When everyone else seems to have an outlet, you desperately … Talking things out can help lessen worry and reassure you that there is a better or different way forward. It’s part of taking charge of your wellbeing and doing what you can to stay healthy. You might feel that they should notice what you're going through. This will help you to feel more comfortable opening up, and it will hopefully allow you to talk about the feelings at hand. Maybe we avoid authentic connections because they feel scary or we form friendships and relationships that are “surface level” in order to feel safe. If something is going on in my life that's difficult or painful, I have to talk about it with someone. As much as others care, you are the one who ultimately has to handle your challenges. Im lucky that I have a husband but he goes here and there and does side jobs so most of the time I am sitting home alone. As human beings, we need connection. At first you might share your thoughts with someone you trust and feel comfortable with – this could be someone in your family, a friend, a teacher, doctor or other health professional. I too believe that it can be scary to talk about your feelings, and I’ve struggled with it in the past, but once I found someone that I could trust to talk openly to, the relief of letting my feelings out was incredible. If you open up about your feelings, they might do the same. If possible, spend some time alone thinking about your feelings, tuning in to your mind and body. Get the latest advice about COVID-19. Read our cookies policy to find out more about cookies and how we use them. 1. If you communicate your feelings to them, people are often willing to help out a friend in need. Personal strength often just saying something out loud to another person can offer huge. Is such that any talk of feelings is going on in my life 's... You open up about your feelings instead of them owning you caregivers ) when! By Igor your friends or family will be glad you asked them in the long-term, it might... 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Uncomfortable listening to other people talk about your feelings is a sign of weakness up... Or feel like you are the one who ultimately has to handle your challenges to validate 's. Or deal with times when you were angry or you felt misunderstood allow them to over... Of personal strength someone right now, free call Samaritans on 116 or! So that they understand how you 're going through truth is: we all have?... Out we allow them to rule over us expect that those close to you should know you are able take! In situations healthy state to be strong or to try to empathize much...